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Everything, All At Once

by My First Castle

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1.
Drink. Purge. Give yourself up. Break. Make them all believe everything you say. Anything. Don't forget to smile. Spent time alone. Dull your senses. And like an echo of, you're just irrelevant. Exposed weakness Mend your armor. Mind the torn apart as we've become... Irrelevant. Your dreams will haunt you but, try and forget. And my ghost will follow but, try and forget. When it's quiet, you'll contemplate but, try and forget. Soaked in absolute silence. TRY AND FORGET. I will keep calm and try to forget. Memories. Smiles. Try to forget. I will face palm to try to forget. Everything. Quiet. Try to forget. Try to forget. Try.
2.
For the snakes and feeling lost, moment to moment, we sway in trees. I keep alone by my side while this city holds my eyes. To display your colder image, I told the world of your travels. Eleven years, Eleven days and not a crack. Not a single goddamn crack... So, I'll carry on. Carry on. Now, you'll never leave me begging for a map or a means to find my direction. You'll have to catch me first. Again? Are you kidding me? I watched you separate the sky from my dreams and yet I seemed better intact with you near. :) We wait atop the summit for your return. It seems the dawn that has you has set the trail behind you on fire. Who says I have to have feelings as I carry the clothes on my back? I am not above explaining. I am just inhuman. Don't let the walls you have up fool you. We will just see through them. A sudden change in altitude gives you all the attitude. You're taking this to the head while I am not offended. I AM NOT!! Quit telling me I am When I am not. I AM NOT Quit telling me I am When I am not. You know just what to say to keep me moving straight ahead. Know I never heard a word of what you said. I had this path set in my head where I'd never have to spend another night alone in bed until I learned he who has the upper hand is he who better stands letting go. Thought you should know that you're just fulfilling plans of a strange and somber life spent alone. Alright. I'm done. Quit telling me I'm done.
3.
Why cant you just take a compliment? You're doing great! Raise your fists and be a man. The moment at hand. The main event. Change yourself for me. If rosy thorns are your concern, then close your fists and man, you gonna learn today. We're just getting started. These are not your limits. You're not as frail as you say you are. What got you here? What pushed you? What changed your mind? If debilitating darkness is what you need, then you belong to us in the worse way. Yeah! You see me clearly, right? You're doing fine, man! You're doing it! We can all see you as bright as day! Burning brightly with fury, Behold your destroyer.
4.
I was told you were aiming mirrors to cast me out disconnect the light house valued personnel hired ranked strangers old news and... an echo of. Purpose such unrivaled purpose ubiquitous presence ubiquitous presence ignore me, I dare you. they all they all say that I'm gonna die soon sad eyes watch this ship sail away and forget it. they all they all say that I'm gonna die soon sad eyes watch this ship sail away. I was told you were hiding down there I was told to go alone I was told to go this is important It's been long enough we're responsible we always were Find out so we can resume solve everything I hate feeling used I'm thinking this is a mistake This place seems way to far away from someone so valuable. Man, I hope that I'm wrong. I think I have an Idea, but I'd rather not say. I'd rather not say. Tattooed across the linings of my head it says, " You are going to leave". I had a strong feeling that they would cast me out for that goose. But I'll just focus on the open water and the possibilities thereof. I won't return. I won't. And, why would I when I can see forever and the corners of my mouth reach my ears? the corners of my mouth reach my ears. It's been entirely too long. I can see forever. Why would I return? I remember me as the corners of my mouth reach my ears.
5.
I was haunted by the very dreams that keep me in line. A fragment A memory A shade of time that I forgot. I numb myself with room to breathe and discarded wax. Now that I've lost the paint the only thing to do now is wait. On These new fragments.
6.
Dad, I know it must be hard letting go and, at the end of our lives, I hope you know our eyes shift away when reliving indifferent circumstances. I'm giving up on my second chances and I'll give anything to make you see me the way you see your other sons. I will make you see me the way you see the others. Just know my life's not broken. I just need help fixing me. Just know my life's not broken. I just need help finding me. I just need to fix me. I can remember then. That white washed winter. I've never been so cold. I've never been so coherent. When I was 10, I never thought i'd feel I'd have to say these things. You said, "Time heals everything but as I aged, I learned these pages still turn". There were days when I could keep my head up straight. And, hours passed... When I would think if... If I could be good enough to get into your family... Someday, I'll be good enough. If I keep smoking up my lungs I won't sing any further Father, I Still need your guidance. I have learned that this place has emptied out it's lungs to me. Father, I still need your guidance. Father, I still need your hand. I still need your hand. Put me back together. Put me back together.
7.
8.
If you keep your eyes on the phone, I can guarantee they'll never call. And, if you just punch that dolphin in the mouth, we can finish our argument. This isn't where people go when they die. My mistake, It's the other way. This is no place for people with those eyes. I'll just exit here and turn around. I put my own damn luggage at the bottom of the ocean. You put our own dam sugar in the coffee, you bastard. You're the only I know that says excuse me when they sneeze and that is quite polite in my eyes. That and doorbells. I'm late again. Sorry. I have to force it down. I don't go back. I don't go back. Please!!! I'm a professional. But Dad, we missed our turn. Things just pan out and you'll get used to it like the others. Control is just the inch of happiness we neglect ;) it's a choice. It's just a choice. I can feel her plates beneath us. Moving. Shifting. Tilting back and forth. Tilting. I smiled politely and gave her a hug There's that dancing banana, again. And, it won't stop!!! It won't stop!!! Stop!!!

about

Recorded February 1st - 5th by Kevin Bernsten at Developing Nation

credits

released April 18, 2013

Eddie Rorls - Vocals
Zach Boocks - Guitar/Vocals
Chris Marion - Guitar
Michael Feldmann - Bass Guitar
Matt Duane - Drums

Guest vocals by Phil Fosler of Octaves on "Repellers Pelican" and "High Fives Through Walls of Tigers"

Produced and Recorded by Kevin Bernsten at Developing Nations
Mastered by Dan Coutant at Sun Room Audio

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My First Castle Washington, D.C.

We were a band once called "Sinatra", and now we're called My First Castle. RVA/DC/MD

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